You outta know
I am not 'out' to very many people as far as my BDSM related proclivities go. But I'm not NOT out either. All of my friends know that I enjoy rough sex, they've all seen me bruised and limping or unable to sit normally, or wear certain clothes after a fun weekend. I've had sex related bruises on almost every inch of my body, not to mention scrapes, burns, abrasions, etc. So I guess I never really thought telling my vanilla friends that I enjoy being spanked and beaten with various objects until I'm either bleeding, in tears, or my Dom's arm gives out, would be much of a surprise. Apparently it is. I've been told that I'm weird, a freak, and that pics of my bruises are gross and disturbing. So. <sarcasm> That is awesome. </sarcasm>
I can see how me being submissive could come as a surprise, for the most part, I hate being bossed around, I rarely take 'orders', and there is an infamous story about a boy telling me I had had enough to drink one night...it didn't end well for him. However, if people paid attention, they would realize every relationship I have been in I have been submissive. Even in most of my friendships I take a subtly submissive role.
I can't imagine my life with a long term vanilla partner. Finally exploring and embracing and labeling this side of me and this part of my life has been absolutely amazing. I love knowing who and what I am. I love all my bruises and marks. I love everything about it. I finally feel like this is who I am supposed to be.
I don't know, this is just an incoherent ramble, but it is just so frustrating sometimes. To have to hide part of myself because it is not 'normal'.
Normalcy is overrated.
I can see how me being submissive could come as a surprise, for the most part, I hate being bossed around, I rarely take 'orders', and there is an infamous story about a boy telling me I had had enough to drink one night...it didn't end well for him. However, if people paid attention, they would realize every relationship I have been in I have been submissive. Even in most of my friendships I take a subtly submissive role.
I can't imagine my life with a long term vanilla partner. Finally exploring and embracing and labeling this side of me and this part of my life has been absolutely amazing. I love knowing who and what I am. I love all my bruises and marks. I love everything about it. I finally feel like this is who I am supposed to be.
I don't know, this is just an incoherent ramble, but it is just so frustrating sometimes. To have to hide part of myself because it is not 'normal'.
Normalcy is overrated.
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